Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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