how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
