I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
