he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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