I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
