The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
