The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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