your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
