We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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