She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
