I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
