you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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