Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
