The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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