went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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