Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
