She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
