I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
