becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
