In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
