Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
