Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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