Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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