I hate all girls vehemently.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
