I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
