i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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