Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
