yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Boobs speak an international language.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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