Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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