people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
