i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
