Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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