I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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