Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
