every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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