He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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