what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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