Me. At least after what I've been through.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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