we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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