After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
