I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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