Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just found puke in my bra..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
