Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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