What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
