you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
