Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
