Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
