1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
