My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
