I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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