Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
