If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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