how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
