I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
worst night to have a conscience
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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