Kiss
Puke
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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