Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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