I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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